Lookin’ good and autism awareness

“Mom, I look really good right now in this shirt.”

Buddy, you are always looking good in my eyes.

I see you for who you are and all that you teach me.

You teach me it is the small things that matter most.

You turn everything into a game.

You remind me to appreciate the smallest of victories.

You feel big and love big. 

Your kisses and hugs are pure love.

You feel so much pride in being a big brother to Brinna. You care for her so gently.

You look forward with such hope and excitement.

You teach us flexibility and patience.


You allow us to serve you and our hearts grow bigger because of that privilege. 


We are better people and a much stronger family because of you, Perry.

We see you and we love you.

Yes, you are lookin’ good.

Surfing with Nixon

We had this cool opportunity to attend the Surfing with Nixon event for the first time this year.

The main purpose of the event is for children with autism to have the opportunity to surf. Perry loved his 20 min session on the waves!











They held the event at Big Surf. So nostalgic for me! Considering Big Surf was my first summer job when I was 15. And I don't think it's changed one bit from those summers 20 years ago.



We took everyone out of school for the afternoon and most of the children came with us. Kyler opted to stay home so he could rest up for a big cross country meet that night. So he watched Brinns while the rest of us hit the water park.

Those two had a big wrestling match going on in the pool.













I couldn't even get them to stop when someone offered to take our family picture. Oh well, that is real life with boys.





Perry was excited to meet up with a friend from school there.



And he was happy about all the swag we brought home--t-shirts, tumblers, posters, Hurley and Quicksilver hats, diamondback tickets, etc. and this little stuffed horse.





We had a blast on all of the slides.





This slide here was my second to last slide of the day. And the slide that ripped my swimsuit bottoms. For reals. Yikes!









We are already looking forward to this event for next year!

sweet boy

For every challenging moment, there is an equally beautiful and good moment.

Out of the blue, Perry told me last night, "I really like you, mom."

I got a call from his teacher immediately after school. I for sure thought it would be tell me to come pick him up because he was throwing a fit and they couldn't safely put him on the bus (which is usually the reason for an after school call). Instead, it was praise for his hard work that day. He is managing school and work so much better than last year. The growth is remarkable and the praise was appreciated.

A few weeks ago he earned a ticket in the cafeteria for helping to pick up trash. When you collect so many tickets you get to sit outside to eat with a friend that you choose. When I was talking about that cool reward with him, he said "I get to eat with a friend, but I want to eat with you."

He was mad at dinner because he wanted more chocolate milk and I was only offering orange juice or water. After many many other threats to me, he told me he was going to go get in the pool. I reminded him of the consequences of getting in the pool by himself and left him alone. A few minutes later he came back inside with a brilliant plan to get orange juice in a water bottle and to take his dinner to eat outside in a chair next to the pool. Such a significant step to see him problem-solving a solution to help himself calm down! We chatted for a few minutes while he ate and I did some backyard clean up.

Beautiful moments like these keep us going. I have so much love for this sweet boy.

Alexa, do a bad song, like Mr. Freeze

Perry was hopping mad. He did not want to clean up the legos he had dumped out the night before (when he was also hopping mad) before he watched a movie.

So he stood in the kitchen and yelled at our new "friend", Alexa.

P: Alexa, play a bad song!

P: Alexa, do a bad song, like Mr. Freeze.

Alexa: Welcome back to freeze dancers.

P: Alexa, do baby poopy by Apple Music.

Alexa: Dinomyte, dance like a banana.

P: NOOO! Where's the bad song?

P: Alexa, do shut up by apple music.



Alexa: Giddyup! Dance like a princess.

P: Noooo!! Ugh



P: No, that's it. (turns Alexa off)



And then by this time he was mostly calm.

Thank you, Alexa.

Eventually, he did clean up the legos.

or i’ll put you with the goats

Perry thrives off of routine. And the structure of school and the influence of peers. So by the end of two weeks without school things get a little wild around here. 

This afternoon there was a big tantrum. I can’t even recall what set him off. But it was 40 min of anger in the car while we picked Kacin and a friend up from the mall—yelling, bad words, threats to unbuckle his seat belt, etc. I tried all the tricks I could while I was driving: Let’s listen to your favorite song, here’s a juice box, here’s a snack, strikes to lose privileges, talking about something new, and ignoring. Nothing was working!

After we dropped Kacin’s friend off we had to go pick Kyler up. And this is the point that Perry’s threats to take his seat belt off became more than threats and he unbuckled while I was driving down the main road. So I dug deep and got creative and told Perry that he had to the count of three to get his buckle on or I would be taking him to the goats. He knows our friends just got two little goats. And he is not a fan of them. He asked if the goats would bite him. And he told me he would hit them. So I told him that goats kick back. I counted to three and he put his buckle on. 

We got Kyler in the car, but Perry was not settling down. Rather than continue the tantrum at home, where I knew destruction would happen, I decided to let the tantrum continue in the great outdoors of a local park. 

I stuck by Perry for a good half hour trying to keep him away from the rest of his siblings and get him to calm down. (Though I know he hit each of them at least once.) I chased him, tickled him, ignored his mean words, held him, walked with him, pointed interesting things out to him, gave him more strikes which equate to loss of screen time this week, and while there were moments of calm, he raged on. 

Eric called when he left work and we decided the best course of action was for him to meet us at the park so I didn’t have to stick him in the car with his siblings again. 

When Eric showed up, Perry decided he just wanted mom. The mom he had been running from, biting, and calling “a fool” for the last hour and a half. Isn’t that funny how that works? He went and hid on the other side of the park so he wouldn’t have to go with dad. Can you find him? :)

While Perry kept himself hidden, the rest of us sat on the ground and took a moment. To breathe, I guess.

We listened to songs from the Hunger Games soundtrack. Because I’ve been in the mood for that. 

We enjoyed a few minutes in the shade of the first truly warm (in the high 80s) day of the year. 

And I did not have to threaten to drop him off with the goats again. 

light it up blue: autism awareness

Perry brings SO MUCH to our lives. We think autism is pretty awesome.

I found this quote this week. I love so many things about it. Nicole is an incredible teacher. This is a girl who knows.

"The labeling undermines us in so many levels!...we too are God's children. People don't mean harm because they too are God's children."

Our identity as children of God is the most important label we can have. And the only label we need. We are each and every one of us children of God. And as such we can be forgiving of each other and remember that we are each trying our best.

"Love is patient, love is kind; my motto in life."

I need to adopt this as my own life's motto! We need to show love to each other and remember that love means patience and kindness. And the more patient and kind we are the more our love grows.

"You are loving."

Believe this about ourselves. That is one of our deepest purposes on earth. To show love. To feel love. I am loving.

"Mom has healed her consciousness to allow me to truly reflect my real identity as God's perfect child."

The influence of a mother is deep and long-lasting. But mother's aren't perfect and we have our own learning to do. And so when we "heal our consciousness" and do our hard work of growing, which I believe only truly happens when we turn to our Savior and our loving Heavenly Father, then we can lift our children and those around us and help them to shine. Our children don't mind when we have to learn first or learn alongside them. I just hope that we can all see our "real identity." We are "God's perfect child[ren]."

"Just don't let your senses get you fooled. We are more than our bodies."

Don't be fooled. The world is shouting things at your senses that just aren't true. Don't listen. We are much, much more than these physical bodies.

"Find the truth so you can reflect your real being."

Find it. Seek it. Once we know the truth let that light shine out and reflect on who we really are.

Autism is beautiful.

April is world autism awareness month. I am always late to the game, but I think anytime is a good time to light it up blue for autism!