happy day

Happy Friday! Eric and I had an incredible experience last weekend and we have spent the rest of the week recovering and catching up. 

Today is a good day! I finally feel like things I have been struggling with and trying to figure out are falling into place. I was starting to lose hope. But one should never lose hope. And now all the struggling has made this day so much brighter.

"Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful."

-George Bernard Shaw

How true is that? It's ok when things aren't easy. It is not meant to be easy. Easy does not mean better. Even when something is not easy, it can be delightful and wonderful. 

This weekend we are hoping to enjoy some halloween traditions and preparations. And someone has his first homecoming dance to attend!

Here's to the weekend!!

resuming

Oh, wow. It is a very rare thing for me to skip a week without posting something on here. I've kept this blog record of our family for 12 years now and I can honestly count on one hand the number of times I haven't met my personal goal I set all those years ago to post at least once a week. 

I wish I could say that I had a good reason for it, but I don't really. Like I mentioned in my last post, I just crave stillness these days. Probably it's aftershocks of my recent cancer scare or something. (And that itself is something that would probably serve me well to finish recording about.)

All of my kids will be in school tomorrow and I am a bit excited for them and for me. Routine, social interaction, and in person learning will be SO good for all of them. And that Stillness I need right now has been hard to find in a full house so it will be good for me, too.

The general conference talk I studied this week with my friend (we pick a talk and email our thoughts to each other) was "the blessing of continuing revelation to prophets and personal revelation to guide our lives." Elder Cook reminded me that "continuous revelation is indeed the very lifeblood of the gospel of the living Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." Life is difficult enough, but I can't imagine how much harder it would be if I didn't know I can receive revelation in my personal life. I can have truth testified and confirmed to me. I can get thoughts and ideas to help and guide me. I can get answers I am seeking. I can be prepared for decisions and experiences. Personal revelation has give me clarity, confidence, support, help, and ideas so many times in my life. I hope you know you can receive it, too.

I now hope to resume my regular blog posting schedule of no schedule except for aiming for once a week.

find me in the river

I recently heard the song "Find Me in the River." I love the version from the "I Still Believe" movie soundtrack. I think it's so pretty. And I think it's an expression of humility, surrender, and trust in God. 

"Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if you please
We've longed to see the roses
But never felt the thorns
And bought our pretty crowns
But never paid the price

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees with my soul laid bare
Even though you're gone
And I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river
I'm waiting here

Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if you please
We didn't count on suffering
We didn't count on pain
But if there are blessings in the valley
Then in the river I will wait

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees with my soul laid bare
Even though you're gone
And I'm…"

I have spent so much time "in the river" this summer, literally and spiritually, so this song has become an anthem. The river has been a place for me to “lay my soul out bare”—to heal, to surrender my will and my problems, to draw closer to a Heavenly Father who has created such beauty for us, and to feel peace. I feel my soul healing every time I go. 

Part of that healing has been the strength I get from the people I spend time with. 

Thank goodness for friends who are patient with me, understanding, and inspiring. I think we all help each other grow in different ways. 

These ladies actually went out with me just a few days before my big lung biopsy. Some of my worries and concerns were released on the river that night.

Look at this view at the end of our river run! I just took a big breath in when I saw this. God gives us so much peace in nature.

Not too long after that, a big group of us went to the river for an evening paddle. Each of these women are so unique. Yet each one has taught me or served me in a different way. Oh how we need each other! 




And they are fun.

Eric and I went out on the kayak on the most perfect there could be. The water was high and the weather was divine and so we spent 2 hours and ten minutes kayaking from water users to granite reef (about 10 miles).


How gorgeous was this spot that evening with all of the horses around!

We've been doing some hard work on our marriage and I'm grateful that because of that we get out and do things together that we love. 

How fun to be married to your best friend--someone I can talk to about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as we paddle along.

A little self timer photo shoot to capture the peace of the evening.

The weather is starting to change and the flow of the river will be cut off soon. But it has been quite often, that you could find me in the river this year. It feeds my soul.

inspiration and revelation

In at least three of my priesthood blessings since my cancer diagnosis, I was counseled to read the general conference talks from April's conference. Each subsequent blessing got a little bit more specific about that counsel. Probably because I wasn't listening very well. Sure, the first time I heard it, I thought that was a good idea. Yet, I never really did anything about it. The second time, I was told there were messages in there that were just for me. So I read a little here and there. But my most recent priesthood blessing so urged me to study those talks again, specifically messages from our prophet, President Nielsen. And even to go back and read his past talks. Unfortunately indeed, it took me three times to hear that counsel before I really took it seriously. For the last few weeks or so I have been more diligent about studying from conference. My mind has been blown! As I have read and studied, specific direction and inspiration that I was not even expecting has poured in. Simple things. But I have already seen a positive impact on me and on my family. I wonder, why was I so slow to follow that counsel?? God is so patient with us and always right there ready to guide us and strengthen us as soon as we take that first step.

The talks from the sunday morning session have been some of my favorites.

Take the Holy Spirit as Your Guide: "We can not just do and think what others are doing and thinking; we must live a guided life."

With One Accord: "As we draw closer to Him, as we seek to receive a personal witness through the Holy Ghost of His divine mission, we will have a better understanding of our purpose; the love of God will dwell in our hearts; we will have the determination to be on of the keleidoscopes of our familes, wards, and communities; and we will minister to each other 'in newer, better ways.' Miracles happen when the children of God work together guided by the Spirit to reach out to others in need."

Pure Love: The True Sign of Every True Disciple of Jesus Christ: "President Thomas S. Monson said: 'May we begin now, this very day, to express love to all of God's children, whether they be our family members, our friends, mere acquaintances, or total strangers. As we arise each morning, let us determine to respond with love and kindness to whatever might come our way.' Brothers and sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of love. The greatest commandment is about love. For me, it's all about love."

His Spirit to Be with You: "The Prophet Joseph set an example for us of how to receive continual spiritual direction and comfort through the Holy Ghost. The first choice he made was to be humble before God. The second was to pray with faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. The third was to obey exactly. Obedience may mean to move quickly. It may mean to prepare. Or it may mean to wait in patience for further inspiration. And the fourth is to pray to know the needs and hearts of others and how to help them for the Lord."

Revelation for the Church, Revelation for our Lives: "Through the manifestations of the Holy Ghost, the Lord will assist us in all our righteous pursuits." AND "Find a quiet place where you can regularly go. Humble yourself before God. Pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. Turn to Him for answers and for comfort. Pray in the name of Jesus Christ about your concerns, your fears, your weaknesses--yes, the very longings of your heart. And then listen! Write the thoughts that come to your mind. Record your feelings and follow through with actions that you are prompted to take. As you repeat this process day after day, month after month, year after year, you will 'grow into the principle of revelation."