End of Indoor Soccer

Doesn't Kacin's face say it all?

My Mother's Day

I was well taken care of for Mother's Day.
It far exceeded my expectations.
And, even better, it was stretched out over the whole week.

We bought a piano off of craigslist.
Which technically wasn't part of mothers day,
but I'm still very happy about it.

Kacin invited me to his Mother's Day Tea.
We sipped our apple cider and
munched on sandwiches and cheesecake that he prepared for us with his class.
He gave me earrings.
He told his teacher when he made them that I don't have pierced ears.
I don't.
So at home we made a slight modification
and the earrings are now a cherished necklace.

Mothers' Day song in both Arabic and English:

Kyler took me to Moms and Muffins at his school.

My boys gave me a cake stand
which we put to good use today.
Cake decorating courtesy of the boys.

And yesterday they made me this happy little breakfast.

To top it all off, it was gorgeous and sunny ALL weekend!

Absolutely perfect for us on Saturday to do a little hiking, get some color on our skin,
and eat dinner outside.

From Mom To Me

My mother. creative. full of life. caring. patient.

She has given me many things over the years.

In no particular order,

these are some life lessons that will forever stand out:

1. Don't be afraid to get messy. she led us in playing "Double Dare" outside and squirting ketchup and other condiments on each others heads. she gave us ample time to play in the mud. she put dishsoap on the kitchen floor so we could slip and slide around and under the kitchen table. she let us vigorously shake a soda bottle and take off the lid just to see what would happen (and it did explode all over the kitchen ceiling).

2. Furniture is for climbing and flipping and jumping on. Because we were gymnasts and dancers and the reclining chair made a perfect vault and the event "couch" was my favorite.

3. Be yourself. wear what you'd like. fashion your hair how you feel. rearrange your room and rearrange again. recognize your talents and strengths and grow them. choose for yourself.

4. Talk about it. 4 girls. Lots of drama. And somehow, someway mom always had patience and time to talk and work out any ridiculous "problem".

5. Live and enjoy. walk barefooted. dance in the rain. roll the windows down as you drive down a dirt road. celebrate.

6. Serve. eachother. rub someone's back. get up even when you feel tired and help someone with what they're doing. cookies and treats are for sharing with your neighbors. give what you have. 

7. Make the best of it. even if you live in a teeny-tiny house in a dodgy neighborhood and your bedroom is actually the living room so each night you drag your pile of blankets out of the closet, unroll them and sleep on the floor. no complaints. keep positive. she did.

8. Go on fieldtrips. museums. parks. libraries. just go. and talk and sing in the car.

9. Support. attend gymnastic meets, concerts, swim meets, t-ball games. encourage your kids to make their own movies and plays and dances and kitchen concoctions.

10. Love. cuddle. hold. hug. kiss. take time. sing lullabies. smile. be patient.

The mom in me is way more frustrated, impatient, controlling,

and an avoider of messes
(was it really me who just got rid of all the playdoh in the house?!).

As I've reflected on my mom
and my happy childhood and my fond memories,

I am committing myself today

to take these lessons a little more to heart

and try a little harder to be a little more like

the wonderful mom I was blessed with.

Thanks, mom, for teaching these things

to me.

Pictures Again

I accidently put the USB port temporarily out of service.
Oops.
But Eric has now fixed it
so here comes the pictures . . .

Pictures with trains . . .

Pictures of modeling on the train tracks . . .

(he totally asked me to take this picture while he posed)

 

Pictures with friends . . .

Pictures of a photographer . . .

Pictures of being worn out . . .

Pictures of crusty cast skin . . .

Pictures of cast #3 . . .

He has elbow movement again!

Infertility and Me

I've written of it before.
Yet I write of it again
because this is what I'm experiencing.
I write to release.
There are so many emotions,
not everyone can understand,
just like I don't fully understand what it's like to
be abused, lose my dad, or battle cancer.
It comes in waves.
I am happy, I am satisfied, I am hopeful.
I am sad, I am frustrated, I am hopeless.

Each month when it doesn't happen,
I grieve a loss.
I cry. I sob.
No one usually knows.
I have to keep going.
I am still a mom to two fantastic little boys
whom I love, care for, and am ever so grateful for.
But my heart yearns for more.

I know it's not true, but the thoughts race through my mind,
am I not a good enough mother?
can I not be trusted with more?
am I forgotten?
I push the thoughts aside because
deep down I know it's not so.

And then the advice comes:
just relax.
stop worrying about it and then it will just happen.
I knew a girl who . . .
Even once, I heard, "Eric, just get her drunk!"

I wonder why I even want to bear a child so much.
It will cause more physical pain than I care to think about.
It will mean a trip to the hospital and IV's.
I will get puffy and large and tired.
Or the child may end up some strange
and unpleasant combination of my chubby cheeks and E's big neck.
Still, I ache for it.
I know the love and the joy only a mother feels.
And I want that.

I tend to think about infertility as my trial.
The trial that is for me at this time
because that is how my Heavenly Father knew I would learn best.
Maybe some people would experience infertility
and be able to "just relax",
maybe some would go get drunk to get through,
but with my sadness and strugglings
the way I have found
is to recognize that it's ok for me to feel sad.
It wouldn't exactly be called one of my trials if I wasn't upset about it.
Now I take that sadness and I find strength
in a caring, supportive husband
in a family who loves me no matter what
in connecting with friends who share similar stories
in a son who prays daily "bless mommy to have a baby, if it be Thy will"
and most importantly
in my Savior, Jesus Christ,
who has felt all that I feel,
who I can trust,
who will not leave me alone.

This adventure of infertility will not end for me tomorrow.
I have hope that it won't be too much longer,
but it may not ever end on this earth.
But I am grateful because
I've been stretched.
I have stronger relationship with E.
I am learning about patience and service.
I seek daily for greater faith
and a closer relationship with my Heavenly Father.
I am grateful for what infertility is teaching me.

Busy

Doing what though?
Sometimes I feel like we've been running a mile a minute,
but at the end of the day I'm not always sure what we've done.
We're just busy.

Kacin is busy helping me bake treats and cook dinner, spinning in circles, counting down the days until he gets his cast off, going to Montessori preschool 3 mornings a week, playing cars, racing on Mario Kart, "homeschool"-ing with me, enjoying cuddles and hugs, trying to be silly just to make everyone laugh, jumping on the trampoline, and bugging his brother.

Kyler is busy going to kindergarten, doing homework, practicing the glockenspiel and waiting anxiously until he can be practicing the piano, reading Henry and Mudge books, playing with friends, watching Smurfs episodes, quoting Smurfs episodes, building with legos, rolling his eyes at me, playing soccer, writing in his journal, and making plans.

I am busy volunteering in classrooms 3 mornings a week, cooking meals, cleaning house, but avoiding the bathrooms, dealing with infertility doctors and treatments again, teaching YW lessons and attending week night activities, nagging Eric to help me buy a piano and a rocking chair, reading, trying to exercise more often, and playing with two little boys at the park.

Eric is busy exercising each morning (the dedication!), spending long hours at work, getting a raise because he's so awesome at his work, watching the Suns games, dealing with the man who has been fixing our toilet, reading and playing with the boys, reading with me, teaching sunday school lessons, working on our garden and in the yard, and making yummy rolls.

Busy living.

Quote

The Atonement is that essential ingredient of our Father in Heaven’s plan of happiness without which that plan could not have been activated. Your understanding of the Atonement and the insight it provides for your life will greatly enhance your productive use of all of the knowledge, experience, and skills you acquire in mortal life. . . . There is an imperative need for each of us to strengthen our understanding of the significance of the Atonement of Jesus Christ so that it will become an unshakable foundation upon which to build our lives. As the world becomes more devoid of foundational standards and as honor, virtue, and purity are increasingly cast aside in the pursuit of appetite, our understanding of and faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ will provide strength and capacity needed for a successful life. It will also bring confidence in times of trial and peace in moments of turmoil. ~ Richard G. Scott (April 2010)