Enjoy This

I found myself in a few conversations this week

that turned to the topic of enjoying motherhood.

Maybe it was the way I became a mother,

but motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever done (well, still doing).

Sometimes being mom brings out the worst possible me--

the yelling, impatient, losing-my-mind, late again

me.

With all the disciplining, worries, and energy

that goes into raising kids

it is good to recognize

the joys of being a mom.

When I sit and think

I can come up with oh so many moments from just this morning

that makes motherhood the highlight of my life. 

There is joy and fun and love in:

• Kacin running up behind me and placing a sticky note on my back that reads, "Dear mom, I love you. You are the best mom."
• Kyler's laugh.
• Kacin reading to me from the Book of Mormon
• Kyler filling our house with music as he practices on the piano.
• K yelling and whining at everyone while I actually stayed calm and in control and showed an exuberant amount of patience in working it all out and cuddling him up (self-control! so satisfying.) 
• carrying clinging Kacin down the stairs
• Kyler combing his hair by himself into a striking side part for picture day
• Kacin practicing his picture day smile
• Kyler offering suggestions for his house help so I wouldn't assign him empty the dishwasher
• Kacin jumping up and down and asking what's in his lunch today
• Kyler asking for cuddles
• Kacin getting better at finishing his homework with a good attitude
• Kyler offering to help clean the kitchen table
• Kacin holding my hand as we walked into his school and giving me lots of hugs and kisses
• Kyler confiding in me about his new friend

For me, motherhood is the most challenging,

yet, the best and most rewarding.

My boys are growing so quickly and I hope I can

enjoy each moment.

Sew Sweet

Kyler's sewing project:
He was in quite a mood for modeling . . .

I tried to help him with it at first, but then I realized that I don't know much about sewing, nor do I have any desire to learn right now, so I just left him to it. Eric, the button sewer of the house, showed him how to sew on the two buttons he picked out. But it was all Kyler who planned and sewed and then very sweetly bestowed this gift to me. He planned from the beginning to make it for me, and worked really hard to keep it a secret. He was so excited when he was finished and gave it to me, and I was so excited to receive such a sweet gift! There were so many things I could've used it for, but in the end I decided it would be perfect to keep stickers and stamps in for my preschool. Each time I pull it out I think of my thoughtful, sweet boy. I just love my Kyler.

great life, greatest show

I think when I first realized both of the boys would be away at school for six and a half hours each day, I couldn't imagine what I would possibly do with all that time to myself. A week and a half into the school year and all of those hours are filled, and then some! But I feel so spoiled with a near perfect life right now because, besides cleaning the bathrooms, my days are filled with things I enjoy and I'm excited about--preschool, tutoring, cooking (with Christy, too!), training for my sprint tri, temple trips, reading, friends, organizing . . . how lucky I am! All of these things weren't my first choice for what to do with my time, but someday our family will grow and until then I'm finally learning to enjoy what I've been given and create my own happiness. And go to the circus.

A week or so ago, Kacin was invited to go to the circus with his good friend. When I heard the circus was in town, I just had to get tickets for the rest of us. But for some reason E thought an ASU game was better than clowns and trapeze artists. . . . So Kyler and I had a fabulous time together. Kyler laughed at the clowns, tried to find an explanation for each magic trick, and was amazed by the motorcycles and the men who jumped through fire.

One-Eye

Kacin has to patch his eye for 4 hours a day
to strengthen his weak eye.
He wears the patch afterschool until bedtime.
He hates it.
He whines and complains the whole time.
And I totally feel for him.
It's got to be awful.

Yesterday evening, I didn't have his patch on my mind though.
It was his job to sweep under the table.
I told him there were more crumbs.
Kacin: "No, there's not any."
Me: "Yes, there is. Right there. I can see them with my own two eyes."
Kacin: "But I only have one eye."

Bittersweet First Days

Summer break is over.

School started.

It's so bittersweet.

Sweet: The excitement of new backpacks, lunch boxes, and notebooks.
Bitter: We waited too long to do our school shopping and missed all the good deals on gluesticks and markers.

Bitter: My boys are growing up way too quickly.

Sweet: They are both growing up to be such fun, good boys and they are enjoying 1st and 2nd grade.

Bitter: All day school means a quiet house, which I liked for the first few hours, but by 3:30pm it definitely felt very eery and got a little lonely

Sweet: I have some space and some time to myself to get all sorts of things done--grocery shopping, preparing for my preschool class, temple trips, cleaning, reading . . .

Bitter: I miss my boys

Sweet: I appreciate rough housing and being followed around a lot more.

Sweet: When Kacin came home from school the first day, he exclaimed that it was the best day ever. He loves having a guy teacher (because, as he informed me, he needs a break from girls) and he is loving having his own lunch box and eating at the cafeteria.

Bitter: He also came home from the first day of school showing me and Kyler that he learned "the bird finger" from a kid on the playground.   

Bitter: Kyler misses some of his friends from last year who have moved to different schools or who are in different classes

Sweet: Kyler has an awesome teacher this year. She is so nice and respectful and I'm so happy he is in her class! And he still has many friends from last year and has had no problem making new ones, too

The Final Days on the Road

After Natalie's wedding, we drove back to Mesa. We took a 3 day break from the car and while Eric worked, we hung out by the pool. It's a hard life, I know. But in the evenings when E came home, the real party started. We played LOTS of the dance game on the Kinect (E had some smooth moves and he just can't wait to play again), ate Bahama Bucks, played Ticket to Ride, hung out with two of E's friends from high school, and went to the temple. And that's when I stayed up really late and read the first Hunger Games book.

On Wednesday, we said our goodbyes and got back in the car. Twelve hours later we were getting settled in our hotel in Utah. E worked two more days while the boys and I went to the Thanksgiving Point Gardens and hung out with Kadyn (older brother). These three boys were so happy for some time together. It's crazy to think that when I first met Kadyn he was 7, Kyler's age now. These boys have all changed and grown so much. My boys look up to Kadyn so much now. Kyler loved talking to him about books and sports. Kacin just hangs on every word that Kadyn says. What Kadyn says goes.

There were more questions this time about why Kadyn isn't adopted into our family. We love Kadyn and he will always be the boys' very special brother. They have such a healthy relationship now. There were lots of people who made the decision for the younger boys to come to our family and for Kadyn to go to another family. Considering all the circumstances, it was the best decision we could make at the time. It's been a bumpy road, but we know it was the right decision. We are happy that Kadyn has a forever family now and that we can always keep a relationship with him. He holds a very special place in the boys' hearts.

Pictures from the gardens . . .

 Throwing pennies over their shoulders into the fountain to make a wish . . .

On Saturday, all we wanted to do was get home to our beds so we drove 14 hours and 15 min. and safely made it home. Our road trip was just perfect, but we spent 7 out of the 15 days driving at least 6 hours a day. So let's just say it is good to be home.

My First Niece

Jacqui and Josh
have the cutest little baby ever
and we're so happy she can be our niece and cousin.
We all loved holding Macie,
and then giving her back when she needed a diaper change.
We were glad that we could be there for her blessing and
her first ride at Disneyland.