These days

Here we are nearly at the end of February. Just two days until we leave for a week of California sunshine! There is a lot of excitement around here about that. We haven't had a lot of sun around here lately and these gray clouds sure get to me. Looking forward to a fun vacation has helped to ease the gloom.

Look at this cute Noodle Necktie.

If Layla could choose, she would have yogurt with frozen blueberries for breakfast, lunch, and snack.

We have all been having a lot of fun with magna-tiles lately. Endless fun.

Kacin spent a few evenings at baseball tryouts.

He is excited for the season. And so am I. This kid has spirit and passion and determination and it is fun to watch. We just found out he was drafted to play for the same coach as last year. Such a blessing in our opinion because he was an amazing coach.

In preparation for our move, we are going through everything to weed out as much as possible. I found this at the bottom of one box--the only football game I actually remember going to in HS, when the Westwood Warriors went to state. Go Warriors! See, why do I still have these things . . .

In Jr. primary, Eric came through the time machine as Enos.

He gets a lot of comments about his beard. I think other men must be envious. And maybe other women are jealous because I get to kiss a face with that luscious manliness on it and they don't. One of these days we will have to sit down and braid it or decorate it. Because what's the point of a long beard if you can't have a little fun with it?

We found a way for Kacin to express himself artistically. He had a blast with those face paints.

The neighborhood boys were kind enough to let Perry join in on the football fun. Sometimes he can't get enough of his older brothers.

Layla got her first real hair cut. She was a little nervous, but she was so good for Julie.

I love when we get together with the Nielsen's. And this last time the kids entertained us with music performances and a play. Layla performed "let it go". I have to get the recording on here someday. So cute!

Kyler has been working his tail end off to earn money for a Go Pro. He has babysat, been diligent about his regular chores, asked nearly every day to do extra work, and even sold his old desk on craigslist.

The weeks of hard work paid off yesterday when his GoPro arrived in the mail!

He took these while I was speaking with Ms. Nikki who runs his ABA program now. I deleted at least 30 more of his selfies. But this face is too cute! I couldn't delete anymore. He has the best facial expressions.

I had a gift certificate to get a pedicure. I am scared of getting pedicures. I am extremely ticklish. And I can never understand what the people are saying to me. But I faced my fear and went to that place. It was as bad as I imagined--it tickled, I almost kicked her accidentally, I could not understand where she wanted me to go and where to put my feet when it was time to dry my toes. I don't think these places are meant to stress you out like that. I guess some good came of it. I got to sit in a massage chair and then I walked out with pretty toes ready for the beach next week.

Happy Friday!

valentine's

Layla worked hard on making her valentine's. Though, I think it is a good thing there are only 6 kids in her class. She got tired writing everyone's names.

But she loved the class celebration and getting a bag filled with valentine's love from her friends.

Perry made a similar homemade valentine. His favorite part was putting the stickers and candy inside the pocket.

The night before his school Valentine's celebration he sat down at the art table all by himself. He made this cute little decorated card and glued it onto his bag.

Kacin is kind of over valentine's. He only made these because I made him do something or he couldn't receive valentine's candy from his classmates. Ha!

We had a special valentine's breakfast sunday morning. Kyler and Kacin made each of us sweet valentine's and I gave each person a bag of candy bar cookies.

We spent the rest of that day at a special stake conference (that I actually got to listen to most of!) and then playing games and eating dessert and enjoying time with some good friends. And that made it an extra lovely valentine's day.

one long day

The alarm clock went off at 3:30am--the signal to start the day in order to make it to the airport at 5am.

If only we knew we could've slept a little longer because, at the scheduled boarding time, the flight would be delayed for an hour and a half. Of all flights, on the day we were on a tight schedule, it had to be our plane that got the "slowest most thorough maintenance worker" to change a battery the pilot had ever seen.

As soon as the plane took off, and we rose above the blanket of clouds, a most beautiful sunrise greeted us--daring me to believe that, even though we were off to a rocky start, the tightly scheduled day would still work out.

And the rest of the day was a whirlwind lacking in sleep and food, but spinning in decisions and paperwork, one right after the other.

Car rental, house design center, early childhood education tour, elementary school registration, junior high school registration, Eric's first walk through the model home and peek of our land.

Miraculously, and just barely thanks to a nice office worker who unlocked the school door so we could come in, everything on our checklist was completed.

Which left us with an hour to grab a cake and make it for a birthday surprise.

Our time was too short to celebrate her birthday properly, but some minutes was better than no minutes.

We headed back to the airport to catch our flight home. We arrived safely to a house of sleeping children just before midnight.

sunday: 1pm-4pm

These are not my good running shoes.

That doesn't bother this kid. In fact, maybe he prefers it that way.

Oh man, he was on one Sunday afternoon during church. Can you tell?

(selfies he took while talking and growling)

Even distracting him with my phone was not working during sacrament meeting.

So we walked the halls. Except he did more running than walking. Which would be fine, if the running wasn't for the purpose of opening the fire extinguisher cases and pulling the fire extinguishers (btw the ones at our church building need to be LOCKED), or escaping out into the parking lot, or ripping papers off of the bulletin boards.

There were moments of reprieve, like when I convinced him, even though at first he said "no kids", to come in with me into the other wards nursery to play for a few minutes. And when he took the task to try and open all of the cupboards to see which were locked and which were open.

But mostly he was hyper and ornery and much too big for me to grab and carry without tweaking my back. Which I did anyways and paid for it.

I was looking forward to primary. But he refused to go. There was more running away and even some knocking chairs over during the opening prayer. I sat with him. I pulled out my phone again. His primary teacher tried to coax him over. No go. It became apparent it was time to make our exit.

Once out in the halls again, he escaped my grasp. Oh I wished I had my running shoes on. I was pretty close to shouting down the hall for someone down there to block him. But my respect for social norms and quiet voices in the church building got the better of me. Though I made a vow to myself that if I ever see a little one running down the hall and the parent trying really hard to catch them, I would help them out, not step to the side so the little can run by.

My long legs and funny high heel run saved me instead and I was able to grab him just as he was stepping out of the foyer onto the sidewalk.

Eric finally finished with something he was asked to do for primary and took his turn with Perry. And so they sat in the car for over an hour.

I just needed to breathe. In and out. In and out.

We were at the end of sunday school and I waited in the hall for RS to start. I was talking with the RS president (a dear friend of ours). She had seen Perry bite me the week before and so she was asking about that and other Perry related and life things. And as we talked the things she said both validated my buried feelings and worried me for our future. And that's when I burst into tears.

I am really good at ugly crying. Red faced, snotty nosed big sobs are my specialty. And so I excused myself to join Eric and Perry in the car for awhile.

Once my face wasn't quite so red and puffy, I went back into relief society and soaked in a lesson on joy. How could I find joy in that day and that moment?

Well, it hit me that I felt a big dose of joy in the fact that I am part of a women's organization, called Relief Society, in which I felt comfortable enough to walk late into the room with crying puffy eyes and associate with some pretty amazing, caring, insightful women. I remembered how just a few months earlier when I was talking to my Relief Society president friend in the hall, it was she who burst into tears over some things going on in her own life. I felt grateful for Relief Society and the bonds it creates between women, who are varied in age, experience, talents, and abilities, but who are united in serving our Heavenly Father and developing charity and acting on it. In providing a little relief to each other and helping each other get through hard things. I don't have to put on a show or pretend to have it all together to be in that room with those sisters. I felt better by the end of the lesson and ready to keep going on.

And Perry was feeling better after his long break in the car, too.

And the world carried on.

Though, next sunday at 1pm, I might be showing up in the ever so fashionable pair of Nike's and a skirt.

Just like his brothers

I think I mentioned before that Kyler and Kacin have been into Legos lately. Specifically, that they have been into making working Lego candy machines. They watch video tutorials on you tube and make their creations.

One day, when the Legos were out, Perry sat down by the Lego bag with the ipad in hand. On his own, he pulled up a Lego tutorial on you tube. With the video playing on the floor beside him, just like he'd seen his older brothers do before, he built his own Lego candy machine. How sweet and wonderful to see him trying to do something just like his older brothers!

When he was finished he asked me to get some candy out for him. He had a spot in the middle to put the m&ms. Then he placed the Legos back on top to close it off.

His very own candy machine now sits on his shelf.

One more thing. He sure loves those older brothers of his. I was talking to Perry about the new house. I told him he could have his own bedroom. He doesn't want that though. He insists he will share with his brothers.

thoughts about our decision

Since embarking on this new adventure (the one called picking up and moving to Arizona), we have asked ourselves many, many times if we are making the right decision.

I don't know the answer yet. But I sure hope so.

My thoughts keep swirling around our decision and happiness--on being content and being intentional.

I have found, and so I believe, you can find and choose happiness. Even when you are crammed into a small living space, stuck in a job you don't like, or living on a tight budget. There is power in contentment--in finding peace and happiness with just what you have. Instead of always dreaming about the next best thing, you can live happily with what you have in that moment, no matter your circumstances. I think, with a little effort, we can train ourselves to shift our thoughts so we feel content and satisfied. And that is a good feeling.

I have had to do just that over the last few years with some things in our life. Some things just haven't gone as I imagined. We were dealt a hand and we have had to figure things out and make things work and learn to be happy and content even when things were less than ideal. There have been big things and little things (like all three boys crammed into one bedroom--some days that's a little thing and some days that's a big thing to deal with).

I have worked really hard on changing my mindset and my attitude and, most days, I have learned to be satisfied and happy just as we are right now.

But I've always been a firm believer in living intentionally, in fighting for the things you really want, and going out and making it happen.

How can we both feel the peace and satisfaction of being content and, yet, live intentionally? Is one way of living better than the other? Or do they go hand in hand?

I'm not sure.

Eric and I spend our money differently than some of our friends. I'm not saying we are better or worse, but the fact of the matter is that different families use their money on different things because of their particular family culture, priorities, and goals. We have things that are important to us so we spend more in those areas and things we spend less on because it is not a priority for us.

Maybe it's similar to that. We can't have everything at once and so we prioritize. We learn to be content with some things and live intentionally in other areas. And that might change a little at different times in our lives.

Are we making the right decision?

We could probably be happy and make it work no matter where we are. There is good and bad no matter what and we can learn to focus in on the good more often than the bad. But when we think about what we really want for our family right now it leads us to choose to take a step in the dark and live our own intentional adventure.