we will do this together

I am overwhelmed by the love and support surrounding me. 

Thoughts about my cancer--the worries, fears, next steps, changes, grief--are always spinning around in my head. And after awhile those thoughts seem to send me to a dark place. A lonely, burdened place.

Eric always reminds me (and my mom has said it, too) that I don't have to do this alone. We will do this together.

I am the luckiest to have such an amazing, selfless husband and best friend right there with me on every single step of this cancer road. I do not take that for granted.

And then standing with me and Eric are family, friends, and our church congregation. Our load is lightened knowing that we have so many good people by our side to help us along. 

Seriously, I had no idea that people were so compassionate and kind and thoughtful. I am learning so much. And they are lifting me and comforting me. 

Every text, message, phone call, email, gift, treat, conversation, hug, offer to help, lunch date, meal, babysitting, podcast shared, and visit has seriously meant so much. So very much.

I wasn't sure if I would post about this stuff because I am afraid to leave something out and because I only have pictures of some of the tangibles, but really every single kind word and thoughtful deed has brought me peace and comfort and love, too--no matter how big or small and even if I don't have a picture of it. All of this unexpected extra kindness has really meant the world to me and to my family. 

To help him cope, Eric started a list of kind things that people had done for us. But he really can’t even keep up on it! There has also been bath bombs, a freezer full of meals, paper products, an album of music to download, books, button up shirts...the list goes on and on and each thing no matter how big or small has lifted my spirits and helped me to feel surrounded by love. And when you are surrounded like this you feel more strength than you could ever have on your own and a determination to face the scary awful things you have to do.

I am learning so much about compassion and what the promise I made at baptism “to mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comforting” really means. God sends people around us to help us feel of his goodness and love. 

And I can not end this post without saying that it is Christ who is truly always there for you. In those dark moments when it is just me alone in my room, I have poured out my soul to God and read from the scriptures and I am learning so much about the atonement. Because Jesus Christ is my Savior and he knows and understands my feelings completely. No matter what we are going through (the good, the bad, or the really, really bad), He wants us to come unto Him. He gives us true peace and comfort and understanding of all of life’s experiences. 

I can do this together.

10 months

This little love of mine is ten months old!

She still loves books. And putting everything in her mouth.

She is getting much better at eating. She doesn’t gag on everything like she used to. Yay for that!

She has a big sister who can not get enough of her and who loves on her and plays with her and helps every second she can.

She still isn’t moving much yet. She can do it, but hasn’t been very motivated. But who can blame her? She always seems to have someone right there with her cuddling and playing with her. 


We still can’t tame that wild hair.

She’s moving all over the place in her bed. I found her sleeping like this one night.

She learned to clap and loves to do so! She also loves singing the wheels on the bus with the actions.

We love you baby B!!

These days

Ellie insisted on doing her own hair for church one Sunday.

Living room fort!

Aunt Jenny came to visit over memorial day weekend. She came with me to see Big Fish at Hale Theater. It was so good, but it was not an easy thing to watch after getting my own cancer diagnosis. I didn’t k ow what it was about when I went so it threw me for a loop. But it was nice to spend time with Jen.

On Memorial Day, we filled our pool and our backyard with a few families over to swim and bbq.

Baby B had her first swim! E didn’t get a picture of her smiling and laughing, but she loves the water.

Our little L Belle graduated from kindergarten.

Every time I see 2030 as her graduation date my head spins. Man, that sounds so crazy.

There she is just below the “we”.

She had been singing all of her graduation songs at home all week. So it was fun to see the big performance.

The night before graduation, she admitted how nervous she was to walk across the stage in front of all those people. So she practiced walking for us. Well practice paid off and she walked across the stage perfectly. After the graduation, she told me she was still nervous but she just looked down and she walked and that worked out just fine.

Daddy, baby, grandpa, and I were all there to see her.


After the last day if school, I made the kids empty out their backpacks. Among other things, kyler found these crusty socks in his backpack. Maybe we should start cleaning out those backpacks more often.

Layla writes notes, lists, and letters all over the place every day. 

Perry took my phone around the house and took some pictures. So here is an evening from Perry’s perspective.

There is a new fire station right down the street so we walked down to the open house celebration one Saturday morning.

My aunt and uncle came into town for a short visit. I hadn’t seen them in years! It was so nice to catch up a little with them and to introduce them to the three younger children for the first time.