Kacin's teacher
passed out a classroom newsletter today.
The last item was about a timeline to be displayed on the wall,
It was a request
for
each child to bring in
a
baby picture.
I've always known,
but today I realized,
and it made me so so so very sad,
that
we
don't
have
any
baby pictures.
I hope it doesn't ever trouble my boys too much.
I hope they don't feel sad
when they see pictures of their friends as babies
or are asked to do projects
and all we can tell them about is how cute
we have imagined their little baby selves to be.
How we're sure
Kacin was the deliciously chubby baby
who laughed, smiled, and then screamed through the night
and
Kyler was born with patches of hair that would never lay flat,
and big, searching, thoughtful eyes,
a baby who cooed and babbled at the world around him.
I hope it doesn't bother them
that we can't prove it.
I'm glad that after chatting with Kacin's sweet teacher
she decided to shift the focus
from baby picture
to when-you-were-little picture.
And maybe my currently overloaded
digital camera is making up for something.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
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About Me
I was 19 the day that Eric and I got married and I had my whole perfect life PLANNED out—a time table, a list of goals, EXPECTATIONS, and dreams. But LIFE gave me something EVEN BETTER than my limited vision and plans: a chance to learn and grow and BECOME by experiencing infertility, foster care, adoption, special needs (autism) parenting, breast cancer, and more. Our lives are often challenging, PAINFUL, and complicated, yet it is no doubt that they are GLORIOUS, wonderful, and exciting, too. Our EXPERIENCES, the ones we DELIBERATELY seek out and the ones we would never have picked but we have to MUDDLE through anyways, SHAPE us. We CHOOSE what that shape will look like in the end by our ATTITUDE and our willingness to EMBRACE the moments of life. For it is the MOMENTS that DEFINE us. I choose to WALK FORWARD in the BRIGHTNESS of hope by noticing those moments, LEARNING as much as I can, SEEKING the good, and TRUSTING in a loving God.
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Oh, Lolo, I think I forgot that Kacin wasn't an Allred all of his life. Dear little buddy, I think the no picture thing will bother you more than him, he loves his Mama and Daddy so much that those things don't matter. Besides, you have more pictures of your boys than I do of all my girls!
ReplyDeleteWow. You sure know how to word things Laura! That sounded so nice and sweet I want a baby description like that! Im glad things worked out!
ReplyDeleteYou do have a gift for wording things. We imagine lots of early moments around here too! I always hate the question "Ask your parents how you got your name." We always say something like, "You know how some kids are just born with some traits? Well, you just came with your name. It fit you perfectly." But I'm with your mom; having baby pics is nice, but having the world's most awesome parents is priceless!!!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I zoom around life feeling all 'normal' and then something happens that makes me realize I'm not as normal as I think I am. . .I realized the other day that when my girlies get big enough I'm going to have to explain the reason for different last names in our family. That's hard. I don't want to. I wish it wasn't that way. But that's how my life has worked out so it will have to be done. And I hope they will still love me.
ReplyDeleteSo in that regard I can relate to this and I hurt for you, but I'm also easily happy for you that you have been able to enjoy your boys for as long as you have! (I should apply that same type of thinking in my life!)It seems to me you've had them long enough to have some nice much-younger pictures!
I just saw this post... Sometimes I think it is harder for us parents because we mourn the fact that we missed their baby stages... You are a good mom and your boys know they are loved. When they have questions you'll give them the best answer that you can... and know that their lives, and your lives, are so much better now that you are all a family.
ReplyDelete