Flowing Thoughts

Kacin and I couldn't remember the last time he took a shower. I declared it was time this morning. Sorry if you've been around him lately and smelled a foul odor. But with the way my head has been spinning I wasn't really surprised something has been neglected.

Another thing I've been neglecting is responding to texts and emails. Some days I feel bad about it. I like all the people who contact me. But it seems when I have a spare minute in which a child is not demanding my attention my brain doesn't seem able to think or type a coherent thought.

If that's true, how do I find time to blog? It helps me when I sit down to sort my thoughts, record our life, and reflect on my experiences. So I selfishly take the time to clear my head by writing something. It's for me.

Me. There's been a few times this week, like when putting D back into bed for a nap for the 18th time, that the thought has run through my mind that these kids are out to get me. But it is probably more accurate to say that they are out to get what they need--attention, food, a diaper change, rest, space, whatever it may be.

The special educator who comes to our home once a week always asks me why I think the behavior happened and why I think a response worked or didn't work. She must be doing a good job coaching us because her reflective questions are beginning to run through my head on a constant basis.

Like why I need to organize and control and worry about details. It's a blessing and a curse. Most character traits probably are that way--both a weakness and a strength. It makes me weak because my mind swims with ideas and concerns and desires to improve. I often know good ways to do things, and I don't always trust that other people do. See, I admit my shortcomings. But maybe that's also my strength. Because if I wasn't this way I don't think we could manage four kids with lots of challenges and activities, visits with birthparents, lots of appointments, an open home to caseworker visits, teaching preschool, piano, and church callings.

Even with my "strength", things will sometimes slip. I'm ok with that. We're still living. We may be a little stinky if we keep forgeting to bathe. But that can't be too bad, Kacin wasn't complaining!